How to Deal with Difficult Behaviour

People sometimes behave in various difficult ways during workshops, meetings and training sessions. Dealing with them is a matter of judgement and experience, but the following tips should provide you with some extra help.

Notice that this article is about Difficult Behaviour — not Difficult People or Problem People. This is not to say that there are no such things as difficult or problem people — it’s just more productive for us to consider behaviour we have difficulty with.

The categorisation which follows is not intended to be a set of boxes to classify people into but to be a breakdown of problems into simple categories so that they can be considered.

Experts

Subject experts, if present in a discussion, can discourage others from making comments. Be aware of this possibility and counter it by trying to generate an atmosphere in which everyone genuinely tries to increase their understanding. Ensure that the less-expert members have enough time to contribute their ideas, experience, and questions. Do not let the expert lecture too much.

As long as you do your best to clarify your understanding and the understanding of the participants, you shouldn’t have much difficulty in handling the session, so don’t look for problems that aren’t there. Don’t be too worried by disagreement either — it’s a help, not a hindrance, and should be welcomed. Disagreement often results from different understandings of the topic. Your job is to clarify the understanding of the participants and bridge the gap between them. This benefits the whole group.

Bosses

The presence of managers and subordinates can have a similar effect to that of an expert. Apply the same guidelines, although the situation may be more difficult to control. Because of this, consider carefully (when planning the lesson) whether it is necessary to have managers and employees together. If it is, you will probably have to be much more directive than usual during the session.

Talkative People

Why are they talking a lot? Are they just naturally talkative? Do they think they know all the answers? Do they know all the answers?

If what they are saying is useful and relevant, it may be a good idea to let them talk — within reason. Is it that they can’t express themselves concisely? If so, you may be able to get the gist of what they are saying and summarise it for them.

If they are going on and on, and it’s not useful or to the point, interrupt, thank them for their contribution and direct a question to someone else. If you find it difficult to interrupt people, remember that everyone has to draw breath. Watch carefully, and when they take a breath, interrupt in a positive and definite manner. Don’t hesitate.

Silent People

Don’t assume that the silent person hasn’t learned anything. Don’t assume that they agree with what has been said. You haven’t much to go on unless they say something — so use a direct question — and make it one which you think they will be able to answer. They may be shy, in which case it is best not to put too much pressure on them.

Encouragement may help: show you are interested in their views and that the group needs them. Support their views if they need support. If they are not participating, give them some work to do by asking them direct questions. The main thing is to find out why they are silent — and the main way of finding out is by questioning.

Quibblers

Quibblers may have a minor point that they want to concentrate on. If you are fairly sure of your ground, you can ask the group whether they want to spend time on it — they will almost certainly not want to. Or you can suggest that this point is dealt with later. Write the point on a flip chart so they can see that it has been noted.

Persistent Questioners

Persistent questioners may be having trouble understanding what is going on, in which case you can patiently try to clarify things — but only up to a point: you must consider the whole group's needs.

Objectors

Objectors may just be feeling quarrelsome. If they object persistently, try to pin down the objections by asking them to be more specific, to give reasons for what they say, or to produce evidence for what they say. Keep saying, “Why?” e.g. “Why do you say that?”; “What evidence is there to support that view?” etc.